Happy Birthday to Me

I celebrated a birthday last week. One year sober.

I’ve held out on sharing for all the reasons one does when societal norms steer you to promote your strengths, hide your weaknesses and fake it until you make it.

I’m not one for the status quo, but I can play the game like the best of them. It’s exhausting.

There’s all kinds of questions of fear and doubt that form in my head with a share like this - but here’s the thing: The worst parts of me are the most sacred. In my weakness, The Lord’s strength can shine. None of what you see is my own strength.

We are our strengths as well as our weaknesses, and it’s what we do with both that develops us.

For years - literally, half my life - I ignored a major problem for fear of what fixing it would require, what it would mean to heal, and what it would be like to lose.

Truth is, all I missed out on was freedom.

A friend walking this journey with me asked how I was celebrating. She said, “It’s the small celebration victories these days I feel.”

So I put a candle in my ice cream and sprinkles on top, and said yet another prayer of gratitude for this milestone, for all the learning and growth and grace and love, and endless encouragement from loved ones on this path, and the opportunity to see how it’s already being used in the lives of others.

Y’all, nothing is wasted (pun kind of intended... you know I can’t help it.) If you’re struggling, trust me that the healing is possible, the freedom is sweet, and the camaraderie you’ll find will be the best part - even if you have to keep searching to find it. Reach out. It will be worth it.

You are loved. You are worth it. You are enough. 🤟🏻

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